Retail Therapy: Hefty wants to do all the talking during the holidays

It’s been another weird week in retail. Hefty released a product to help people get through even the toughest holiday party situations, Tofurky submitted its bid for ugliest festive sweater and beer maker Lagunitas opened an online store. 

This, and more, in this week’s retail therapy.

This product will talk you out of uncomfortable situations

With the holidays just around the corner, invites are sure to be popping up for gatherings, whether they’re with family, friends or at work. But sometimes guests at said parties need a little help in the “reading-the-room” department.

With an election year on the horizon, one might think bringing politics up would be a great conversation starter. You know, current events. It’s not. Just don’t do it. But sometimes something deep inside (read: alcohol) compels some people to voice their loud opinions anyway. Thankfully, Hefty — which earlier this year released a product so that consumers could channel their trashiest selves — created a product to help us survive all the awkward moments this season.[1][2]


“To help you escape these difficult conversations, Hefty Party Cups has created a new, limited-edition line of Holiday Party Cups, featuring pre-written answers to some of the most common personal questions you’d rather not answer,” the company said.

With cups that have phrases like “Yes, I’m Single and Happy,” “Don’t Ask Me Who I’m Voting For” and “Accepting $, Not Advice,” Hefty is the holiday savior we didn’t know we needed. While we’re not convinced this will stave off some nosey relatives asking when you’ll give them grandchildren (none of your business, that’s when), we think it will be a fun addition to your holiday party nonetheless. 

“Hefty Party Cups are guaranteed to keep the party (and not the awkward conversations) going all season long,” the company said.

A stack of the 18-ounce cups retails for $2.99, unfortunately, they’re all sold out at the moment. Don’t worry, though. Hefty said on its website that it will be restocking packs daily.

The plant-based protein trend makes its way to holiday apparel

Plant-based proteins are having a moment this year, but the original turkey alternative not only wants to dress the table with its dishes, but also the guests sitting at it.

Tofurky this week unveiled two ugly Christmas sweaters[3] (emphasis on the ugly). The company is giving 100% of the proceeds made off these products to WildAid, a conservation nonprofit. The sweaters will be available for purchase online beginning Dec. 3, to coincide with Giving Tuesday.


With phrases like “Say Yum” and “May Your Holidays Be Merry and Politically Air-Tight,” we see no reason not to purchase these gems. 

The company said it thinks the sweaters “will continue our tradition of inspiring eyerolls and open-mindedness at the dinner table.” We can’t wait.

But if meat-based meat is more your family’s jam, don’t fret. Several companies have released products sure to please all the carnivores in your life. Jimmy Dean is bringing back its “Recipe Gift Exchange”[4] for the second year in a row. Customers simply need to submit a recipe using Jimmy Dean sausage, and in return, the company will give them a meat-inspired gift. Products include sausage-scented wrapping paper, cowboy slipper boots and sausage-flavored candy canes, among others.

Jimmy Dean

And the meaty goodness doesn’t stop there. In an effort to promote its delivery service, Chili’s is giving away branded merchandise[5] to select customers. The most notable gift? A baby back rib-scented candle to “make your whole house smell more like a Chili’s.” Mmm, there’s nothing quite as comforting as having the pungent smell of meat seep into every soft fabric in your home.

Lagunitas brews up unusual merchandise

The California-based beer company recently unveiled the “Can Shopping Network Shop,”[6] a QVC-esque shopping experience for all of your brew essentials — or nonessentials.

Interested consumers can find things like a “Handmade IPA Shuffleboard Puck Set” ($12.12), which is essentially the product of someone crushing a beer can on their head. 


Or perhaps the “Giant Inflatable Flappy IPA Thingy” (the real name, we can’t make this up) is more enticing, which costs $419.99. While the price is steep, it’s really a gift that’s as much for the receiver as it is for the giver to witness.

Alexa, deck the halls for me

Although smart devices help consumers lives in many ways, we can all agree that there are some products that are just unnecessary. Enter: the Alexa-enabled Christmas tree.


The “Mr. Christmas” 7-foot faux Douglas fir tree is available on Amazon for $303.38[7], though if you don’t already have an Alexa device, that price goes up about $50. The tree comes pre-lit with LED lights and features 13 different lighting functions, including red, green, blue, purple, cyan, white, multi-color, multi-fade, multi-twinkle, multi-sparkle (because apparently there’s a difference between a sparkle and a twinkle??), blue-sparkle or red-sparkle.

We didn’t think the act of plugging something into a wall was burdensome enough to hand over to robots, but maybe we were giving society too much credit.


  1. ^ consumers could channel their trashiest selves (
  2. ^ product to help us (
  3. ^ unveiled two ugly Christmas sweaters (
  4. ^ “Recipe Gift Exchange” (
  5. ^ branded merchandise (
  6. ^ “Can Shopping Network Shop,” (
  7. ^ available on Amazon for $303.38 (

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